Dec. 6 is Krampusnacht, the night where Krampus takes bad children and does something far worse to them than just give them coal — he eats them. UC Berkeley students may be a little old for this goat-headed winter spirit, but that doesn’t mean he won’t make an exception. Here are some of the reasons why he might decide to visit you this Krampusnacht.
You knowingly procrastinate
Sometimes a big assignment can sneak up on you. Other times, you might’ve been well aware that it was coming up, but decided to keep putting it off. Then right before the deadline, you had to work extra hard just to turn something in. Procrastinating is a bad habit for a student to have and one that might entice Krampus to come knocking at your door. Of course, he won’t eat you — instead, he’ll loom over you until you actually work on that boring project that’s due in a week.
You run on coffee alone
Coffee can be a way to wake up in the morning. It isn’t a substitute for sleep, however. It’s not a good idea to keep putting yourself in the position where the only way you can function is to regularly drink coffee. If Krampus decides to take you for this reason, he’ll probably just hide all of your schoolwork and screens until you get a good night’s rest.
You eat junk food
Junk food isn’t necessarily bad for you, but if it’s the only thing you eat, that’s another story. Too much junk food can make you feel bad and you might not get the nutrients you need to remain healthy. That’ll be the reason Krampus will take you away and make sure you have an actual meal with some vegetables in it.
You forget to study
Studying is an important part of being a student. It’s also something that’s easy to forget about. Whether it’s before a midterm or during dead week, there’s a chance you might forget to study until the last minute. If Krampus cares about students at all, he’d despise this. He’d gather up all the students who forget to study and make sure that they form a productive study group.
Krampus may seem like an evil spirit, but he’s more just an incentive to be good. So don’t give him a reason to give UC Berkeley a visit. You’ll have a much better Krampusnacht (and rest of semester) if you don’t.
Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected] .