We’ve all been there. It’s the day after Leg Day. It takes all your willpower and then some to get off the bed, unable to bend your legs from all the squatting and lunging. The walk from the bed to the closet may be short, but it feels like every inch of your body below your waist is burning. And then there’s the rest of the day. Commuting to classes takes 10 minutes longer than it should, sitting in seats is near impossible and you have to wait for everyone else to leave at the end of class so you can take your sweet time getting back up. And that’s just day one. Then Arm Day comes into the party like the Kool-Aid man bursting through the brick wall. Now you can’t lift your arms beyond a certain point. Simple writing feels as hard as running a mile in jeans. Your week has become a living hell. You ask yourself, “Why won’t this stop!?” The answer is actually fairly simple.

Apply a muscle relaxant 

There are a few ways to deal with the feeling of your body turning into one big sore muscle. The first and probably most common and pragmatic solution to this issue would be applying a muscle relaxant, such as Bengay, to the area affected and then waiting for the cream to do its thing. Bengay and other topical muscle relaxants are also relatively cheap and can be purchased from normal convenience stores such as the Walgreens on Telegraph Avenue or the Target in Downtown Berkeley.

Stretching 

For those of us who don’t prefer such straightforward solutions or are repulsed by the scent of methyl salicylate, there’s a whole host of other things that can help avoid soreness. Stretching before working out is a great way to loosen the muscles up, especially a half hour or so before you work out a specific muscle group. Leg and calf stretches can help make sure that your leg muscles are ready for the sheer force required to lift weights. Arm stretches can also relieve some of the built-up stress and tension in biceps and triceps, making exercises involving those muscle groups less painful afterward.

Sleeping

Some people like to kill two birds with one stone. Instead of applying cream or stretching purely for the purpose of relieving muscles, you can also just sleep. Recovery is one of the most important steps to working out, and what better recovery is there than falling asleep? A nice nap after coming home from a workout, in addition to showering, would do wonders for the human body and brain. Naps are not only physically refreshing and mentally rejuvenating, but they also provide a nice break from life in general. Have classes been killing your motivation and self-esteem recently? Take a nap after working out, and heal your body and confidence. Have friends and roommates been acting up and being weird about showering? Block the haters and go to bed for a few hours. Sleep is the breakfast of champions, and you’re the greatest champion of all.

Have Oski levitate you to class

Finally, there is the ascension of reality. Sore muscles make your body in this dimension nonfunctional, so why depend on your current vessel of conscience when you could just have Oski, the king of the higher order, astral project you into an upper plane of reality and levitate your mind and soul to your classes and everywhere else? This method gets rid of the body completely, and with it, all the biological blemishes it comes with. Do you think Oski worries about his outward appearance? Clearly not! Get on his level. With Oski guiding your conscience to classes, soreness is nonexistent. You can focus your entire being on your organic chemistry class and finishing up that English essay. Maybe one day, you’ll become as intellectually and physically swole as Oski himself. It’d be a win-win situation for all.

In conclusion, muscle soreness is not a big deal. With all the resources given to us, we can easily turn it into an opportunity to get better at not just personal fitness, but also life in general.