Quiz: Which Dwight Schrute quote do you need to hear right now?

Illustration of Rainn Wilson in a cloud
Olivia Staser/Staff

Now that the first week of classes has wrapped up, we at the Clog are sure everyone could use a little motivation to do this thing called “education” for the next 14 weeks. Dwight Schrute, one of the main characters on “The Office,” is always a mood, with iconic lines that are always funny. While questionable at times, no one gives better weird tidbits of wisdom than Dwight Schrute. So sit down, relax and find out which Dwight Schrute quote you need to hear right now.

  1. Describe how your semester has started in one word.
    1. Rough.
    2. Busy.
    3. Successful.
    4. Meh.
  2. Pick a Berkeley pizza place.
    1. Artichoke Basille’s.
    2. Sliver.
    3. Cheeseboard.
    4. Jupiter.
  3. Choose a Dwight Schrute moment!
    1. Dwight staging a fire in the office.
    2. Dwight pepper-sprays Roy.
    3. Dwight stages an investigation after finding marijuana in the parking lot.
    4. Montage of Dwight in wigs disguised as other characters.
  4. Choose a different film/TV show starring Rainn Wilson.
    1. “Juno.”
    2. “The Meg.”
    3. “Six Feet Under.”
    4. “Monsters vs. Aliens.”
  5. Pick an on-campus dining location.
    1. Golden Bear Cafe.
    2. Yali’s.
    3. Free Speech Movement Cafe.
    4. Brown’s.
  6. Choose a character from “The Office.”
    1. Pam.
    2. Jim.
    3. Oscar.
    4. Michael.
  7. Choose a goal for the semester.
    1. Go out more!
    2. Be healthier!
    3. Get straight A’s!
    4. Meet new people!
    1. “I saw “Wedding Crashers” accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cuz that’s the thing about bear attacks … they come when you least expect it.”
    2. “I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose … and a panther.”
    3. “Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.”
    4. “Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly … I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.”

Contact Zachary Abuel-Saud at [email protected].