Crushing on a cutie: An unconventional way to excel in class

Anissa Nishioka/File

Related Posts

While we at the Clog could provide a list of tips and tricks on how to kill it in the classroom, we have decided to present you with something more unconventional. Today we suggest developing a crush as a way to excel in class. 

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of the benefits a solid crush can have on your academic prosperity, we must first caution you to be strategic about the crush you develop if you want this to pay off.  Naturally, we do not always feel like we have control over the people that we like or are attracted to. But because we are talking about a crush as a way to excel in class, it may be helpful to have a greater sense of self-control and discipline. So, please look out for red flags. Some red flags may include the individual being tardy consistently, not participating (if in a small class or discussion section) and falling asleep in class. Identifying red flags is crucial because developing a crush in class can be just as harmful as it can be helpful. Beware of your own tendencies in this scheme that we are about to present you with.

Okay, now that we have laid out that disclaimer, we can tell you all the reasons why developing a crush can help you out more than you know. We must first begin by telling you about the power of a crush.

The power of a crush tends to make many of us push ourselves to try harder, to look better and to impress whoever it is we have the hots for. It makes us care more about how we present ourselves and what we expect of ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, the power of a crush sounds slightly toxic and it definitely can be. It can also provide a boost of motivation, however, just as long as you don’t lose yourself in the process, which is always key. 

What a crush can do for you is brilliant if you play your cards right. For instance, you may actually get those readings done on time or take extra care when doing problem sets. They may inspire you to participate more in class as you probably want to be noticed by them. You may even muster up enough confidence to ask them to study with you. This crush may be the key to getting an A in your class.

What a crush can do for you is give you the academic and intellectual motivation you need! As UC Berkeley students, for many of us, doing well academically really gets our blood pumping. Smart is sexy and sexy is smart. Who knows, maybe developing this crush may lead to a happy ending during or after the semester. 

In addition, we’d suggest that you don’t put all your eggs in one basket, or one class. We believe that you should develop a crush in all of your classes — if you can manage. Yes, this is pretty ambitious. I mean, it can be ambitious enough to find just one crush on this campus. But imagine the success you could find in your classes if you pulled this crushing scheme off correctly. Not to mention, having a crush on a cutie is a super fun pastime. Don’t you just love that unnecessary butterfly feeling in your stomach?

The last thing we have to say about crushing on a cutie as a way to excel in class is that it is a mediocre suggestion at best. Please know that this advice is malarkey for the most part. The more important things you need to do well in your classes are a good work ethic, effervescent charisma and healthy mental state.  

If you feel inclined to try this method out to find greater success in your classes, however, be our guest. This tactic may not be for everyone — or most people.

Contact Gina Wright [email protected].