If there is one thing we have learned from Taylor Swift quoting Madeleine Albright, it’s that “there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” But apparently all of Peter’s girls missed this memo, because there was about as much support at the Women Tell All special as there was for Jeb Bush in the 2016 presidential elections.
Before we dive into Peter’s exes continuing to tear each other down, first we must find out who went home after the fantasy suite dates. Victoria F., Hannah Ann and Peter wait tensely while for a moment, it looks like Madi might not show up. In reality, her producer probably drove her around in circles just to build dramatic tension, because she soon shows up and the quick rose ceremony commences. Peter finally comes to his senses and sends Victoria F. home. Woo. It only took longer for Victoria F. to go home than it took Leonardo DiCaprio to win an Oscar.
— Alexis Latson (@Lexi_Latson) March 3, 2020
Onto to the Women Tell All — Peter’s exes all shuffle in and immediately begin quarreling with one another, some because they have actual bones to pick and others to make up for their lack of airtime previously. Old drama is rehashed — Sydney vs. Alayah, Alayah vs. Victoria P., Tammy vs. Victoria P., Tammy vs. Sydney, Tammy vs. Kelsey, Tammy vs. Mykenna. You can almost see Chris Harrison realizing that he is getting too old for this job of mitigating girls who only got rid of their fake ID a year ago.
— Malena D (@mdaless01) March 3, 2020
Chris Harrison also rehashes #ChampagneGate and Kelsey admits to horribly overreacting — that’s right, the woman who had a meltdown over someone taking her bottle of champagne has suddenly become the most mature woman on the stage, which really says a lot about Peter’s group of girls. Kelsey also goes up to the hot seat and gets awarded with a comically large bottle of champagne.
— Katie Jo (@katiejoyofosho) March 3, 2020
Victoria F. takes the hot seat next and immediately gets teary over how she acted on the show. She admits to regretting how she treated Peter, as she probably realized when watching the show that none of the other girls argued and gaslit him during their one-on-ones. Harrison, the hard-hitting investigative journalist he is, mentions the rumors and asks Victoria F. if she has broken up marriages, which she denies. “The Bachelor” internet sleuth Reality Steve may have something else to say about that, but for now we are done with Victoria F.
Chris Harrison: “Have you broken up any marriages?”
Victoria F: “No”
Reality Steve: pic.twitter.com/My0EnsdJCY
— Jenn✨ (@jennnboc) March 3, 2020
Well, almost done, as Harrison brings out Pilot Pete himself to the hot seat with Victoria F. and she gives her best version of an apology. Next, some of the girls lightly rag on Peter for how he handled situations in the house and Peter kind of just takes it. Peter being the true vanilla man he is, none of the girls are incredibly angry at him (à la Juan Pablo) or really respect him as the Bachelor (à la gold standard Ben Higgins). Which, you know, men are like that sometimes.
— Nick Cicotte (@cicotte24) March 3, 2020
After some lighthearted bloopers, “The Bachelor” again makes its bid to finally get an Emmy nomination and has a segment on cyberbullying. Harrison brings out former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay to read hurtful comments that people have sent contestants. There are many death threats and racist comments, because many people have nothing better to do than send hate to people they don’t even know. Weird for “The Bachelor” to bring this up now after having a racist on Rachel’s season and a winner of “The Bachelorette” who liked bigoted social media posts, not to mention this entire past season that consisted of girls bullying each other. But you can’t knock the producers for really wanting that Emmy.
— ariana (@thisismebtw) March 3, 2020
At the end of the night, nothing has really changed except for the number of lines in Harrison’s forehead — the catty girls are still catty, Peter is still known more for his sex romps in a windmill than his entire season and the audience is still left with the lingering question of why they watch this show. But at least next week, we’ll get to find out who Peter chooses and move onto “The Bachelorette”!
Julie Lim covers television. Contact her at [email protected].