Now that fall 2020 is officially a hybrid semester with mostly online classes, many students are making the difficult decision to stay home rather than return to campus come fall. Students who do decide to stay away from UC Berkeley are looking into alternative ways to embrace college life and gain some work experience, as bulking up their resume is their main priority.

One student said instead of the campus experience, she is turning to Club Penguin to make connections to the workforce and prove to her parents that she can make it in the real world. Rising campus sophomore Pen Gwinn explained that Club Penguin teaches the valuable life lessons that she would be missing in a remote college experience and gives her just another stand-apart quality to pad her resume with.

“I’ve learned money management through the process of earning and spending coins, I’ve made a family of puffles and my social skills have improved immensely by chatting with other penguins” Gwinn explained.

Gwinn regularly uses her decision-making skills in games such as “Bean Counters,” which requires players to act fast and make quick choices to avoid catching flying fish and anvils, and instead catch bags of coffee beans. 

The original Club Penguin, an online game in which you can explore a world made up of tiny animated penguins, was shut down in 2017. In recent months, a number of re-creations of Club Penguin have seen a surge in popularity, possibly attributed to students having nothing better to do after being sent home from college. On Club Penguin, users get their own penguin avatar, which they can dress and buy accessories for, and they have access to snow-themed games, where they can earn coins and buy items to decorate their igloo homes. Players are even able to adopt puffles, which are small fluffy creatures used as pets in the Club Penguin universe.

According to Gwinn, these activities are training her for the real world, and because it is giving her another immaculate resume builder, it can even be used to justify taking a semester off school.

“I mean how different is this really from an unpaid internship?” she speculated.

Gwinn attested that her Club Penguin membership and experience will look great on her resume because it shows a long-term commitment to something she is passionate about.

Rising campus junior and puffle enthusiast Cleo Pingoni supports Gwinn’s recommendation to add Club Penguin to one’s resume. Pingoni told the Daily Clog that after adding “owner of five healthy puffles” to his resume, he’s seen increasing rates of acceptances to internships and clubs on campus.

“I wouldn’t be the man I am today without Club Penguin” Pingoni declared. 

It seems there are lessons to be learned by playing Club Penguin. Practicing money management by saving for new boots for your penguin may be the key to controlling those spontaneous splurges for human boots, which cost real money. But still, what will UC Berkeley parents think of taking a break from school to pursue penguin life?

“My parents are in full support of my activity on Club Penguin,” Gwinn clarified. “They understand that it’s a pretty valid use of my time and a much better way to socialize than returning to campus and risking disease exposure from other students.”

We at the Daily Clog commend you for your passion, Gwinn. May students like her be an inspiration to all UC Berkeley students who are conflicted about returning to campus.

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.