The Clog’s power ranking of summer’s best fresh fruits

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We at the Clog like fruit as much as the next college student trying to supplement their diet of chips with some nutritious food does, but we’ve run into a couple of problems. As amazing as summer fruits are, it’s too expensive to buy them all, and even when you buy fruit, you have to eat it right away before it gets too ripe or starts molding. So you don’t have to try all the fruits yourself, we at the Clog have compiled a power ranking of the best summer fruits, evaluated on a range of very important factors.

1. Mango

Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5

Delicious fruit of the gods. Have you ever had a bad mango? Didn’t think so. Mangoes have the perfect ratio of sweetness to tang and a great texture (slimy, but in a good way).

Availability and price: 4/5

Mangoes are unfortunately hard to find, but you can get some for relatively cheap prices.

Convenience: 3/5

They’re difficult to cut — where does the pit start, and where does it end? The world may never know. And you have to peel it? But once you cut those slimy chunks, they are amazingly satisfying to eat. 

Vibes: 5/5

Amazing vibes. You will feel happier if you eat this fruit, and it feels fancy to eat. 

2. Peach

Balance of sweetness and tang: 4/5

Sometimes you just get a sour one even when it seems squishy enough. And then what can you do but cry and eat your sour peach? Also, it’s not as good as a nectarine.

Availability and price: 4/5

Not too bad, not too bad.

Convenience: 3.5/5

Those little hairs on the outside of the peach can be somewhat irritating, but it’s overall not a difficult fruit to eat, unless you get a super juicy one and end up needing to wash your hands five times to get the juice off. 

Vibes: 4.5/5

Major summer vibes. You are not allowed to eat these during any other season.

3. Watermelon

Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5

Watermelons are sweet as heck, but not in an overwhelming way because of how watery and crunchy the texture is. Those textures don’t seem to go together, but watermelon is the fruit that aligns water with crunch. 

Availability and price: 3/5

You can get watermelons anywhere, but they can be kind of expensive, especially if you buy one without really knowing the price and end up with a $7 watermelon. We at the Clog advise you to weigh your watermelons and calculate the price before you buy them.

Convenience: 3/5

Have you ever tried to cut a watermelon? It is not that easy. Broke college students who own two knives, this fruit is not for you. 

Vibes: 5/5

Eat this outside, or something won’t feel right. It transports you to the last barbecue you attended.

4. Cherry

Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5

A classic flavor combination: very sweet, but not aggressive enough that you need to drink water while you eat.

Availability and price: 3/5

OK, cherries are kind of expensive, but mostly worth it. You can find them anywhere, and depending on where you live, you can find great local ones for a good price. 

Convenience: 3.5/5

Honestly, pits are kind of annoying, but on the upside, they slow you down so you don’t eat the whole bag in one go. I’m counting pits as a positive here.

Vibes: 4/5

Cherries are fun to eat and kind of adorable. A pile of pits looks a little gross, which detracts from the experience.

5. Pineapple

Balance of sweetness and tang: 3/5.

OK, she is tangy. Too tangy. We would rather eat a fruit that does not burn our mouths when we eat too much of it. But to be fair, the ripe, sweet ones can be worth the pain.

Availability and price: 4/5

She’s expensive, and also hard to find. At least, hard to find in the form of a whole pineapple, rather than pre-cut.

Convenience: 2/5

Cutting — very difficult. Eating — very difficult. Our mouths hurt just thinking about this.

Vibes: 4/5

Only cool people eat this fruit. The fruit itself feels too cool. You could make a fun hat out of the rind.

6. Berries

Balance of sweetness and tang: 3/5

You definitely have a chance of just ending up with all sour fruit even though they look good. But when they’re good, they’re really good.

Availability and price: 2/5

Berries are expensive as heck. Sure, they’re available, but do you ever actually buy them? No, because they’re so expensive.

Convenience: 3.5/5

You better eat them quickly because otherwise, they’re just going to go bad on you. Pro tip: Only wash the ones you’re going to eat right away. Or just eat them all right away.

Vibes: 3/5

Yummy, but so unattainable. They’re too good for broke college students.

There you have it — the Clog’s power ranking of summer fruits. Now, you won’t have to break the bank only to end up with fruit that was a little too sour anyway. We wish that all your pineapples are appropriately tangy, and that your watermelons cut easily.

Contact Elysa Dombro at [email protected].