An ode to hot sauce, king of condiments

Trader Joes Hot Sauce
Josh Kahen/Staff

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O hot sauce, king of condiments

How you inspire me to be brighter and bolder 

Without you my life would make no sense

Every meal would be colder

 

’Tis not only your spiciness that inspires 

But also the sweetness of the chile that empowers me

As I appreciate the heat of a thousand fires

And add one more dollop to any treat 

 

If I drop some on my sweater

It beautifully complements the pile on my plate

For you make any outfit, any food better

Beyond comparison to its initial state

 

I add you to all my meals

Watching as my rice, or soup, or salad becomes red

For you, I’m head over heels

Would it be too much to suggest we wed?

 

Those who scorn your spice

Know nothing of true taste

Eating any amount of hot sauce is paradise

Any other condiment is a waste

 

You’ve made your way to my favor

By people who know spice much better than I

Intense taste, drawn from Thai flavor

Add it to any dish — the limit is beyond the sky

 

My taste buds may not be intact

But I gladly sacrifice any other flavor

To eat a meal that’s hot sauce-packed

For you, hot sauce, you’re my savior

Contact Elysa Dombro at [email protected].