Everything you won’t miss about in-person classes at UC Berkeley

Sproul Plaza
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With UC Berkeley classes online this fall, you might be feeling sad. After all, your walks throughout campus have been postponed until next year; plus, you won’t be able to visit your favorite lecture halls and libraries or attend in-person office hours and club meetings. You’re certainly not alone — we at the Clog miss our office. Though there are many aspects of in-person classes that we miss, there are certainly some benefits to an online education format. At the very least, you can avoid being accosted by the overaggressive Berkeley squirrels. Here are some things we can appreciate a break from. 

Foot blisters and sweaty backpacks

You know what’s not great about walking to class? The actual walking part. If you’ve ever walked from Mulford Hall to Haas in August, you know exactly what we’re talking about. We’re talking about needing to carry deodorant and blister Band-Aids in your backpack. We painfully remember draining our water bottles on the way to class and practically dying of dehydration on the way home. The sweat stains on our backpacks will not be missed.

Being harassed on Sproul

Picture this: You’re running late to class and have just entered the campus. Luckily, you’re going to Wheeler — you’ll make it in time. Think again. You have to go through Sproul, where you get handed about 80 flyers and end up talking to someone from a consulting club when you don’t even know what a consulting club is for. Late to class again!

Getting to class late and squeezing into an empty seat

“Excuse me … sorry, excuse me — could you move your backpack?” The beautiful sounds of the chain of apologies when you have to ask everyone in the row to move so you can sit in the single empty seat in the middle of the row. At least this semester, you won’t have to worry about knocking over eight water bottles on your way there.

Post-lecture stampede

Ever sit in the front row of a lecture and attempt to exit in anything close to a timely manner? Pretty much impossible. You’ll get caught in a tidal wave of people — a stampede, really. You’ll wonder whether you’re really still in class or at a Best Buy on Black Friday. And if you accidentally leave your notebook or water bottle … well, you might be able to go pick it up in about an hour once everyone else has exited.

Getting lost in Dwinelle

The pattern of classroom numbers in Dwinelle will forever be a mystery. No matter how early you arrive, if you haven’t actually been to that exact room in Dwinelle before, you’re probably going to end up being late. Such is the nature of Dwinelle. Don’t even try to exit through a door different than the one you came in from. You’ll probably step out of the building and into a black hole.

The tiny desk thing attached to your chair

I’m sorry — are we supposed to be able to write using this tiny desk? It can barely hold my pencil case, much less a computer or a green book. It almost feels futile to put the desk up at all, especially because you’ll need to clear all your stuff off and put the desk down again when someone has to squeeze in front of you to get to the empty seat in your row.

Being attacked by the Berkeley squirrels

Those little guys look cute and friendly, but don’t you dare approach them. They will follow you to class and then all the way home. Plus, they will steal all your food while staring at you with their adorable little faces full of your trail mix. They’ll squeak, and you’ll give them one more piece of your granola bar. Meanwhile, your backpack is up a tree and somehow one of them got a hold of your wallet.

Did this list make you feel better? We at the Clog sincerely hope so. Next time you’re feeling nostalgic for the days when you could sit in a nice lecture hall, just remember how cold that room always was, how it always smelled slightly weird and how you could never figure out how to gracefully sit in a chair without having to fight with its tiny desk attachment. Good luck with your online class adventures, Bears!

Contact Elysa Dombro at [email protected].