Signs of the times: How to tell if the apocalypse is near

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This has been an eventful year, to say the least. It wouldn’t be all that surprising if this was the year the world as we know it ended and we all were thrown into the world of a post-apocalyptic young adult novel. It would suck to be caught off guard if (or when) the world ends. Fortunately, the Clog is here to help you in the event this happens. To make sure you’re prepared, keep an eye out for any of these signs of the coming end to civilization as we know it.

People shuffling around with stiff posture

You may be able to see your neighbors going on a walk outside your window every now and again. Usually, these people are taking their dog on a walk or admiring scenery that isn’t the inside of their house. You should become concerned if they start shuffling instead of walking, if they move stiffly like a corpse, if there is no pet in sight and if they seem to move toward other people. If they have all these characteristics, then you might be seeing the beginnings of a zombie apocalypse. Don’t let your neighbors bite you (a good piece of advice even when you’re not amid a zombie apocalypse) and try to keep your distance, which you should be doing anyway.

Leaked cover-up of a radioactive animal escape

The idea that someone was experimenting with the use of radiation on animals is bad enough. It’s even worse if those animals have escaped and gone missing. What would make it more terrible would be if it were discovered that people have been covering up the previous two things for a long time. If horror movies from the ’50s and ’60s have taught me anything, that would mean that the world is due for some giant animal attacks. While it is publicly unknown if some of these lab-abused animals are out and about, we caution you to be cognizant of any mutant-looking animals you may come across, as they might be another sign of the times. 

An astounding archeological discovery

2020 is definitely the year some ancient evil entity would be released because somebody was poking around the wrong set of ruins. Either that or a coffin more than 100 years old is found at the bottom of the ocean. The coffin of course holds an ancient vampire who wishes to take over the world and has some crazy supernatural power, such as being able to stop time. Regardless, be wary of any startling or fascinating new archeological findings. It could just be the sign of an evil apocalypse in the near future.

Keep a careful eye out. You wouldn’t want to be blindsided by the next thing 2020 has to offer. Don’t worry, though: Chances are, none of these will actually happen. Still, it’s fun to wonder what kind of apocalypse this year might throw at us.

Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected] .