Spooky Halloween horoscopes for every Zodiac sign

Photo of the constellations, with astrological signs of the zodiac.
Cellarius Andreas/Creative Commons

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As we enter spooky season, check out what your horoscope has to say about you, but beware of just how spooky they may be (insert evil laugh)!

Scorpio

Hey, Scorpio, have you noticed anything … spooky happening lately? You’re not imagining it — the flickering light in the kitchen, the creepy laugh coming from somewhere down the hall, the squeaking of bats swooping around outside! Well, maybe it’s just that your apartment’s cheap, your roommate has a weird laugh and there are rats that live in the bush next to your window, but I’d still keep an eye out. 

Sagittarius

Have you been working hard or hardly working on these midterms, Sag? Seriously, if you pull one more all-nighter, you’re going to be too tired to enjoy Halloween at all! And, you know what they say: Midnight is when all the ghosts, ghouls and vampires come to get you, so I’d rethink your plan to start working on your essay at 2 a.m. No need for those bad vibes.

Capricorn

Cap, now is the perfect time to use your passion and determination to get your housemates to dress up in the group costume you want this Halloween! You have so many exciting ideas, and everyone will love dressing as the characters in your favorite, very obscure — I mean, very well-known — book or show. No, seriously, foolproof costume. It’s the thought that counts.

Aquarius 

You’ve been feeling a little off, Aquarius, and with all that’s going on, that’s super fair. You need some guidance, and to be honest, I’m not sure the stars are going to cut it. You should ask the spirits for help — have a seance, purchase a Ouija board, visit a graveyard. Halloween is the perfect time to really connect with the dead, but maybe consider bringing a friend or two along. The dead can be a little unruly, and you’ll need all the support you can get. 

Pisces

Pisces, let yourself have some fun. Your brain has been in the books, and you’ve been ignoring your creative, mystical side. What better time to bring it out than during Halloween? You know those spooky stories you used to love? See if you can scare your friends by retelling them with the lights off and a couple of creepy, flickering candles. Or, just sit on the couch and let a horror movie do the scaring for you.

Aries

Aries, cool it with the constant Halloween music! “Spooky Scary Skeletons” is a great song, but your roommate has a midterm coming up. Hey, to your credit, you’ve got the Halloween spirit thing down. But please, no more blasting tunes at midnight (except Friday night — when it’s Halloween, blast all the tunes you want! Wake your roommates up! Wake the ghosts in your basement up! You can blame it on the stars).

Taurus

Something spooky is going on, Taurus, and it has your whole house stressed out. You’re just the person to lessen everyone’s fears by double-checking locks on doors, convincing your roommate that the ghost they saw was truly just a large bug and taking care of the spiders in your apartment before your roommates spend another morning screaming and swinging the broom at the ceiling. Dependable Taurus, pat yourself on the back and take a break — talking down your easily spooked housemates is no easy job.

Gemini

Ready for the best Halloween prank the world has ever seen? Yup, the time is ripe for you to pull a spooky prank on your housemates on Halloween night. Maybe you can do that thing where you make a creepy recording and put it in the cabinet and then play it right as your housemate walks near the cabinet. Ooh, or you can just throw on a sheet and yell “boo” as your roommate walks in the door.

Cancer

Don’t do it, Cancer, don’t do it. Don’t watch the horror movie with your housemates; you’ll end up jumping at every tiny noise or motion for the next three days. Your loss of sleep is not worth the minimal (very minimal) enjoyment you might get from watching a movie with your friends. Seriously, just watch “The Nightmare Before Christmas” or something. At least close your eyes during the scary parts. 

Leo

Leo, you have been working so hard this week! Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself by eating an entire bag of Halloween candy while sitting on the couch with your laptop very far away. If you’re still feeling the residual need to scream, Halloween is the perfect night for it. Your scream of angst at your midterms will be masked by all the other spooky goings-on.

Virgo

Are you giving tricks or treats this Halloween, Virgo? You need to put a real effort into spicing up your life a bit, even though your opportunities are a little limited right now. Get off your couch, stop watching Halloween movies and message that person you’ve been trying not to think about. You don’t want your lack of a decision to come back to haunt you. And, come on, treats are fun, but tricks are really where it’s at.

Libra

Libra, there is a mystery you have to solve. You’ll soon find something precious to you missing. Could one of your housemates have taken it? It’s not in your nature just to let something like this go, and rightfully so, but interrogating your roommates may not do much good. I suppose there’s a chance you just misplaced it, right? You have been known to sleepwalk — trust me on this one.

Contact Elysa Dombro at [email protected].