Halloween in Hollywood: 4 obscure monsters that deserve the spotlight

Illustration of Oski bear as King Kong, grappling the campanile in an old movie poster style.
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Halloween often conjures up images of classic movie monsters such as Dracula, the Wolfman and Frankenstein’s monster. These monsters are popular choices for costumes and decorations. Sadly, not every monster can be a classic — Hollywood said no. There are plenty of lesser-known characters who just never made the cut. For one reason or another, these monsters were rejected. Now, for the first time, they can get their moment in the spotlight. Here are some of the rejected classic Halloween monsters.

Weregoose

Related to the Wolfman or the werewolf is the fearsome weregoose. This is a person who, when they step in a puddle at night, transforms into an amalgamation of a human and a goose who is bent on causing mischief. They even peck at any people who pass them by, transforming that person into a weregoose. The issue that led to its rejection was that its mischievous ways weren’t seen as scary. If you can look past that, the weregoose is still a disturbing creature that deserves at least one Halloween costume.

The Visible Man

Clad in a loud Hawaiian shirt and always talking, this monster is difficult to ignore. The Visible Man was once a regular dude but was slowly corrupted by a curse that transformed him into the most annoying man possible. You’d know it the second he stepped in the room. This is part of why he ended up being rejected — audiences just couldn’t stand him. At the very least, it’s a costume you can easily make using things from your closet. That and the most obnoxious print tablecloths or other decorations can be how you pay homage.

The Mad Scientist

Old horror movies are filled with insane scientists pushing the boundaries of known science and creating some horrible monster. There are far fewer scientists, however, who are mad because no one listens to them. They have plenty of results that show how a person could make the world a better place, but nobody listens to them. This drives the scientist into a fury and causes them to kidnap the naysayers and force them to listen to a long and informative lecture. This monster was rejected because the focus group didn’t really pay attention when the scientist was on screen. So if you want to bring this monster back, why not yell at your friends and loved ones about science while dressed in a lab coat, so you can truly be dressed as and embody the Mad Scientist?

Oski

The creepy smile, wide unblinking eyes and almost childish skip are all ample evidence that the UC Berkeley mascot is a monstrous creature. It’s surprising, then, that it hasn’t become a classic monster with a series of horror films and multiple different Halloween costumes. The reason for this is that it was rejected for being too frightening. It was too much of a terrifying abomination for audiences in the early 20th century to handle. Maybe now, with modern sensibilities, it can get its own film and become a classic. Until then, if you want to bring this terror to your festivities, just print out a picture of Oski and hang it on your wall. It’ll be enough to frighten yourself and anyone else in your home. Just remember to burn it after Halloween. You don’t need that fear after the Halloween season is over.

There may be other classic Hollywood monsters who were rejected, but those have been lost to time for now. At least you can remember these and hold them close to your heart. Who knows, maybe if you show these monsters to your friends, one of them will finally become the classic monster that it deserves to be.

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected] .