Have you ever walked through TJ Maxx or Bed, Bath & Beyond and noticed the sudden boom in decorations, signs or mugs that normalize an addiction to coffee or wine? Have you also noticed that these pieces are targeted at moms? We could do a deep social analysis on how these decorations are the perfect example of the intersection between capitalism and the construction of gender roles, but life is currently too dreary for that, so let’s have a laugh instead!
“Wine is cheaper than therapy”
Short and simple, this is the perfect mantra for college students and moms alike. This sign would be perfect to hang on your fridge, so every time you reach for more wine, you’re reminded why.
“Yoga class? I thought you said pour another glass”
A clever variation of “exercise? I thought you said more fries,” this witty sentiment reminds us that releasing dopamine through exercising is not the way to live your life. Place this sign next to your gym shoes to remind yourself why you switched sweat for drunken regret.
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee and after that, still please don’t talk to me”
Here we have the antithesis of the “wine mom,” i.e. the person she relies on to drop her kids off to soccer practice: the coffee mom. Again, you don’t have to be a mom to find this ironically hilarious caption to be a true reflection of your life. Put this sign next to your coffee-maker, so that the next time your roommate tries to rant to you about their professor at seven in the morning, just aggressively point to this sign and they’ll surely get the message.
“A day without coffee is just like … just kidding. I have no idea”
What’s a coffee-mom-decorated house without an actual mug that conveys your codependence on coffee to function every day? This would be a perfect mug to drink your coffee from during your morning Zoom lectures. If your professor is looking for someone to call on, all you have to do is raise your mug and they’ll skip over you. Who knows — they might have one of their own that they’ll hold up in solidarity.
“I’m drinking wine because I mommed so hard today”
The combination of laughter and cringe that accompanies this caption on wall decor is hard to suffer through, but it will make for a great conversation starter for any guests you may have over. Place this sign right next to your front door so it’s easy for people to see why you deserve that extra glass of wine!
“Life is what happens between coffee and wine”
With this sign, we come to a stunning collaboration between the wine mom and the coffee mom. These personas and lifestyles are not mutually exclusive, and it’s important that in every coffee mom, there is a wine mom and vice versa. This is a perfect piece of wall art for the family room, to remind the members of your household of the true meaning of life — making your personality resolve around universally enjoyed beverages.
Whether you identify as a wine mom or a coffee mom, we can all agree that these signs will make you finally feel at home in your college dwelling. Happy decorating, Bears!
Contact Özge Terzioğlu at [email protected].