The relatable stages of a grocery run

Image of a woman grocery shopping
Josh Kahen/Senior Staff

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Whether you shop once a week or once a month, getting groceries is quite an experience. It also happens to be an experience that is nearly unavoidable if you’re not living at home or in the dorms. It’s safe to say that your next grocery run will look something like this.

  1. Last as long as you can with the food still in your fridge.
  2. Plan your trip, also known as making your shopping list (optional).
  3. Drive or walk halfway to the store before realizing you forgot to bring your reusable bags.
  4. After a lengthy internal debate, head back home to grab them.
  5. Gather your reusable bags and head to the store (again).
  6. Wait in line (new addition due to the pandemic).
  7. Resist impulse-buying (if you skipped step two, you can skip this one as well).
  8. Compare prices on two different brands even though it doesn’t really save you much money.
  9. Realize you shouldn’t have shopped for frozen foods first.
  10. Rearrange your cart so things don’t get squished.
  11. Try to find the cashier with the shortest line.
  12. Realize your line is moving a lot slower than any of the others.
  13. Decide to stay in the line because it’ll probably pick up speed soon, right?
  14. Realize that you forgot the main thing you went to the store for
  15. Exit the checkout line and grab what you forgot.
  16. Get back in line (a different one this time).
  17. Frantically put your groceries on the conveyor belt so you don’t hold things up.
  18. Struggle to find your card in your wallet, and struggle even more to get your chip to read.
  19. Make awkward conversation with the grocery clerk.
  20. Try to figure out how to pack your groceries into the few bags you brought without crushing everything.
  21. Partially give up on neatly packing your bags because you feel as if you are wasting time.
  22. Stop at the street corner to rest your hands (those bags are really cutting into them).
  23. Collapse at home with the groceries in the kitchen.
  24. Eventually get up and finish unpacking the groceries.
  25. Realize it’s dinnertime, and open the fridge to see what you’ll make.
  26. Decide to order takeout.

See, it’s not that bad. So go out there and get some food to fill your fridge. You may even consider doing it before you run out of everything in your fridge besides half a bottle of ketchup. Or not.

Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected] .