Power ranking of the sounds my old dog makes

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My childhood dog is 13 years old and turning 14 in two months (she’s a Gemini). But recently, she’s been making some of the wildest sounds I’ve yet to hear from her. Some of them are adorable, while others … not so much. Here’s my power ranking of these sounds from her best to worst.

The whine

This one is definitely my favorite. This sound is a variation of the whine she’s been producing since she was a puppy, but it now has a more senile vibe to it. It usually indicates that she’s excited about her pocket treat — little does she know that it has her old lady medicine inside of it. 

The snore

While some people might find this noise irritating, I actually enjoy it. Her little snores are some of the cutest sounds to ever be heard. It really makes her seem like the old lady that she is. I’ve also gotten quite used to it now that she sleeps all the time.

The teeth grind

Recently, she’s been making this platypus-like noise in her sleep. While it’s somewhat cute, it’s also a bit worrisome. Teeth grinding is bad for humans so I can’t imagine it being good for her. That reminds me … I should schedule her vet appointment soon. 

The sigh

This one is just relatable. Sometimes I hear her let one out when she’s coming up the stairs and other times it’s her reaction toward me getting out of bed in the morning. I can’t exactly tell if she’s sighing because she’s old and tired, or because she’s annoyed with me. Either way, the only proper way to respond to her sighs is a hearty, “Same.”

The bark

13 years and I still react with an eye roll at her barking. But recently, it has become even more excessive. Those dogs that bark at squirrels? I think my dog barks at dust. Whether she’s losing her eyesight or sense of smell, I’m starting to believe that she’s just covering her bases with barks just in case. This one has to go down as her worst. Especially because she’s attending all my Zoom classes with me, her incessant barking is both irritating and inconvenient.

Thankfully my childhood dog is still alive and well. And I’m constantly reminded of her aliveness by the new and developing noises that come out of her tiny body. 

Contact Marissa Boling at [email protected].