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The Clog's definitive power ranking of breakfast cereals

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MATT GIBSON | STAFF

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MARCH 04, 2021

Any ranked list here at the Clog is bound to be controversial. In an effort to combat this, we solicited the entire staff’s feedback this time around. There were heated debates and heartfelt speeches. Tearful pleas at times fell on deaf ears. Passionate writers may or may not have left Zoom calls in shambles. After much discussion, this is the Clog’s definitive power ranking of breakfast cereals. 

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Sweet and slightly spicy squares that soak up milk at the perfect rate. Even when it loses its crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch stays on top of our list. A huge added bonus is that you’re left with what tastes exactly like a bowl of horchata at the end.

2. Lucky Charms

Marshmallows for breakfast? Sign me up! Even the nonmarshmallow bits of this cereal are sweet, which makes Lucky Charms likable all around. Not to mention that the cereal tastes amazing dry as well, giving it some unmatched versatility.

3. Froot Loops

Those vivid colors bring back the childlike amazement of eating a rainbow for breakfast. We decided the cereal would be cooler if it dyed the milk more intensely and each color was actually individually flavored (all of them are the same — sorry to burst your bubble). 

4. Cocoa Puffs

Cocoa Puffs are my personal favorite because I’m a fiend for chocolate. These unequivocally leave the milk with the best flavor and stay crunchy the longest. It’s chocolate for breakfast, and who could say no to that? I’m still puzzled that Cocoa Puffs didn’t rank higher among our staff. 

5. Frosted Flakes

Kellogg’s improved plain cornflakes by sugarcoating them. This is an obvious move that tastes great at any time of the day, but it is admittedly sort of basic. 

6. Honey Nut Cheerios

Honey Nut Cheerios definitely taste better than plain Cheerios and honestly carry a lot of nostalgia because they’re often one of the cereals offered at elementary schools. But heart-healthy? No thanks — this is a column that endorses an off-the-charts spike in blood sugar first thing in the morning.

While we may have agreed on this ranking, we were surprisingly split on whether or not cereal is a soup. However, we reached a consensus in affirming that the recipe is always cereal first, then milk. Regardless of which you choose to enjoy, all of these breakfast cereals are “grrreat,” as Tony the Tiger would say.

Contact Abhi Varma at [email protected].
LAST UPDATED

MARCH 04, 2021


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