Due to stay-at-home orders and virtual classes, you’re probably spending a lot of time in your bed. You may not notice it at first, but your bed may be growing unhealthily dependent on your presence. Here are the telltale signs that your bed is developing separation anxiety from you. Hopefully, you stage an intervention before it’s too late.

It won’t let go in the morning

The most obvious sign of your bed being unhealthily attached is that it’s extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Your bed just does not want to part ways, so it clings on extra tight. It may be warm and cozy, but allowing your bed to keep holding on to you is just enabling it. To ensure that your bed doesn’t continue to develop separation anxiety, leave it as soon as your alarm goes off. It’s important that you and your bed are able to set firm boundaries.

You’re spending nearly all your time in the same room as it

Some of your behaviors have led to your bed becoming unhealthily dependent on you. One of those behaviors is spending all your time in the same room as your bed. All of this time spent together can give your bed the wrong idea. To combat this, it’s important to spend more time in other rooms or even outside. By spending time out and about and away from your bed, you both might become more independent.

Your bed is a living space of its own

These days, you can do nearly everything from your bed, including eating, attending class and chatting on the phone with friends. There can be very little reason to get up. If this sounds like you, then your bed might be developing some separation anxiety. Your bed has made itself the center of your whole world. That’s not great for the bed or for you. The best way to avoid this is to only use your bed for sleeping. That means no watching shows, eating or browsing social media. Do all of that away from your bed. It may seem difficult at first, but it’s an important step in building healthy boundaries with your bed.

All you want is to go back to your bed

A sign that your bed is manipulating you is that all you want to do is crawl back into bed. Your bed is luring you back in by being comfy and warm, and its motives are to spend more time with you. However, if all ever you want is to get back to bed, then that can seriously mess with your daily routines. That’s why it’s important to resist this urge at all costs. Enjoying places other than your bed can help you combat this. It will also keep your bed from fully developing fully fledged separation anxiety.

Do not worry if you notice any of these symptoms as you interact with your bed. These are all completely natural, especially given the current state of the world. Just use these tips to help keep you and your bed healthy and as independent as possible.

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.