Movies to watch when you’re not sober

Photo of a still from Cats
Universal Pictures/Courtesy

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Sometimes, after a glass of wine or a smoke session, you want to relax and watch something entertaining. You might itch to watch a story unfold before your eyes, while using as little brain power as possible. The following films are perfect for these instances and are best experienced under the influence because they aren’t as fun while sober. They are sorted into three categories based on your current mood: brain-melting thrillers, unintentional comedies and pure chaos. 

Mind-bending: “The Lodge,” “The Invitation” and “Gone Girl”

These thriller movies will hurt your inebriated brain because of all the plot twists, tension and mystery. “The Lodge” tells the story of an ex-cult member spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s children, while being haunted by her past. In “The Invitation,” a man attends a dinner party hosted by his ex-wife and suspects her true motives. David Fincher’s “Gone Girl” follows Nick as he tries to find his missing wife and becomes a prime suspect. These films will take you on a bumpy ride where you’ll question your reality and theorize what will happen next. You might get a migraine from these flicks.

So bad, it’s good: “He’s All That,” “Twilight” and “Fifty Shades of Grey”

The following movies are comedies for all the wrong reasons. “He’s All That” tries to honor the source material, but the flimsy script, mediocre acting and lack of chemistry between the leads derail it. Both “Twilight” and “Fifty Shades of Grey” take themselves too seriously, which turns them into campy comedies. All three are top-tier movies if you go into them with low expectations and some self-awareness. They’re also great to watch with inebriated friends because you’ll be crying too much from laughter and will have the chance to poke fun at the movies. Your stomach will hurt from chuckling once you reach the end of these films.

Nothing makes sense: “Cats (2019),” “Transformers” and “Avatar”

For these movies, prepare for total chaos. They lack any sense of coherence, effective storytelling, compelling characters and passion. “Cats” has renowned actors and singers performing as humanlike felines. The only things you’ll be focusing on are the horrible CGI and the string of random events that supposedly create a plot. “Transformers” is pure metal mayhem because you can’t figure out what is happening half the time. Basically, it’s the Best Buy appliance section becoming sentient and fighting each other. For “Avatar,” you won’t really remember anything once the credits roll. The whole movie will seem like a fever dream. But if you’re in the mood for pandemonium, you’ll have a great time with these movies.

These films are amazing after a drink or two when you need something to distract you for a couple hours. Some honorable mentions include the rest of the “Twilight” movies, “Interstellar,” “Donnie Darko” and “Booksmart.” You’re guaranteed to have fun with these movies — from the plot hurting your brain to watching madness unfold.

Contact Nicholas Clark at [email protected].