Clog Report: Senior only 30% sure he is in right discussion section

photo of an empty classroom
Meghnath Dey/Staff

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Despite the fact that instruction began several weeks ago, senior Andy Nosho reportedly has no idea whether or not he is in the correct discussion section. Nosho, who is currently majoring in physics, has not actually checked the time and location of his Physics 238 section since the start of the semester.

“When I walked in here for the first time, I was honestly just waiting for the first day to end and I really didn’t care if it was the right room or not,” said Nosho. “I didn’t expect that I would end up returning for the next section, and the next and the next.”

“God, at this point, I’m afraid to find out if I’m in the right room or not.”

Nosho has no plans to actually look at his schedule to find out if he is in the correct discussion section and has instead opted to use context clues to attempt to justify returning to the same room week after week.

“Ok, I can tell the discussion is about physics,” Nosho said, nervously glancing around the room. “Berkeley only has something like 100 physics courses, so that narrows it down significantly.”

The biggest obstacle Nosho sees in disengaging himself from his current discussion group is the small, tightknit friendships he has developed with several members of the section, as well as the embarrassment he would experience. “It’d be way too awkward at this point in the semester to just say, ‘Oops, wrong room’ and leave,” said Nosho, who plans to simply “go along for the ride” until he finds an opportunity to leave “naturally.”

“Then again, I could just be in the right section, in which case I guess I’ll never find out.”

Nosho currently anticipates that the situation will “sort itself out” by the time he has to take a midterm. “At some point, someone’s gonna have to ask something about a problem set or something and I’ll have a perfect segue.”

Despite his uncertainty about his Physics 238 section, Nosho has diligently attended lectures and is “moderately familiar” with the material.

“Oh God, why didn’t I just ask someone at the beginning of the semester?” said Nosho. “I’ve been able to fake keeping up with the discussions, but I really can’t tell if it’s related to the lectures or not.”

As of press time, Nosho confirmed he had been going to the wrong hall for his Physics 240A lectures.

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Contact Allen Chen at [email protected].