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The zodiac signs as Thanksgiving dishes

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NOVEMBER 24, 2021

Each Thanksgiving dish has different qualities, traits and relationships with other dishes, so much so that they can be paired with each zodiac sign. Here are our pairings — from obscure and niche to classic and traditional.

Sagittarius: Apple pie

This sign loves to have a good time and will always mesh well with others, and its fiery personality can only be mirrored by apple pie. It is the piece de resistance of every Thanksgiving table and probably what most people look forward to on this holiday. Apple pie is sweet and decadent, which are qualities Sagittariuses believe they have too.

Capricorn: Mashed potatoes

Capricorns are stereotyped as the parents of astrology and love to take care of others. They provide the best foundations in friend groups, almost like mashed potatoes. This earth sign will be your rock, the shoulder to cry on and the person to run to for advice. Similarly, mashed potatoes will always be there for you and won’t do you dirty, even if every other dish sucks. 

Aquarius: Green bean casserole 

This air sign tries its best to stand out from the crowd, sometimes going to great lengths to achieve that goal. Aquarius would definitely be green bean casserole, a dish that seems out of place with the other Thanksgiving ones. The dish and the sign can stand on their own among the carbs and protein lining the table. However, only a few can understand how great both of them are.

Pisces: Candied yams

Pisces love to live in their head and project their sweet dreams onto their reality. Additionally, they often don’t feel valued, which causes them insecurity. Nothing embodies this more than the dessert and side candied yams. They’re overshadowed by the carbohydrate greatness of mashed potatoes and apple pie, the dessert super star. This is an underrated dish, like how Pisces get hate for no reason.

Aries: Ham

The short-tempered, angriest sign in astrology, Aries people often feel the need to prove themselves in a world that constantly doubts them. Similar to this sign, ham is often brought to Thanksgiving dinner and has to compete with the main dish: turkey. But just like ham, Aries needs to feel confident in its own skin and realize its value.

Taurus: Gravy

It’s not a surprise that Tauruses are down to earth, as they’re an earth sign. They’ll always have your back in any situation and make great, dependable friends. The best dish that demonstrates these qualities is gravy. It’s the side that will always level up your meal and tastes delicious no matter how one prepares it. Gravy tastes good on turkey, mashed potatoes and any other dish, just like how this sign gets along with most people.

Gemini: Corn

Geminis are constantly attacked for being fake and backstabbing, which is not necessarily true. They project various sides of themselves in different social situations, where they adapt to the environment and people. The only dish that matches the versatility of a Gemini is corn. You can cook it on the cob, cut it into kernels, make pudding, bake bread, etc. There is no limit to how corn will be cooked for Thanksgiving, 

Cancer: Stuffing

Cancers are the punching bags of astrology as they’re bullied by the other signs for their sensitivity. As a Cancer, I can understand why. The dish that perfectly fits with this is stuffing. It’s the side dish a lot of people detest and often skip on the holiday. Cancers are not everyone’s favorite, but there are a select few that can appreciate them.

Leo: Turkey

This fire sign loves to be the center of attention and does anything to hog the spotlight. Leos tend to focus on themselves, which other people often see as selfishness. Their perfect dish would be the main one, the turkey. Leos believe that the world revolves around them, similar to how people think that Thanksgiving is incomplete without the turkey. I bet any Leo reading this agrees with the pairing. 

Virgo: Mixed greens

The organized, Type-A personality of the 12 signs will stick to the same diet for Thanksgiving. Rather than gorge on all of the dishes, Virgos will definitely be picky on what to eat to avoid a food coma. This closely aligns them with any mixed greens dish, from roasted Brussels sprouts to a salad. They serve as a reminder to still eat healthy on this holiday, almost like a Virgo nagging a person to stay organized. 

Libra: Macaroni and cheese

The social butterfly of the signs, Libras love to please people and cannot get enough of being surrounded by others. Their Thanksgiving counterpart is none other than the (nonturkey) star of the show: macaroni and cheese. Have you met anyone that hates this cheesy pasta dish? Me neither. The same goes for the air sign. Bring macaroni and cheese or a Libra to Thanksgiving dinner, and everyone will have a great time.

Scorpio: Cranberry sauce

The chaos of a Scorpio cannot be described, and they are shunned for this by other signs. The only dish that really fits this description is cranberry sauce. It’s a complex side that people are afraid to try with their food, but there isn’t anything scary about it at all. Once you add it to your Thanksgiving meal, you might finally understand how this water sign feels.

Now that every sign has been assigned to a dish, you can tell each family member which Thanksgiving dish they best embody. It might start an argument during dinner, but that’s what makes the holiday so special!

Contact Nicholas Clark at [email protected].

NOVEMBER 23, 2021