Screw the bedroom. The element of privacy is a fluke when you live in Berkeley, a place where public nudity is accepted. Public sex, too? Well, as long as you’re sneaky about it. It’s true — school is so hard. Students have to take their frustrations out somewhere, and what better way to do it than on campus, with the perfect views and nature surrounding you?
Luckily, UC Berkeley students are so focused on getting to class that they don’t usually look around and take in their surroundings. If you’re looking for some adventurous fun, try having sex in these 10 public spots and see how long it takes for someone to spot you.
10. Under the dinosaur in the Valley Life Sciences Building
There is nothing like an old skeleton to remind you how special young love is. While the dinosaur is usually the main attraction, it will have some competition to see who can get the most jaw-dropping responses
9. Moffitt Library sleep machines
Who would expect a couple getting freaky in Moffitt? Although it’s currently closed for seismic upgrades, when it’s back open, people are so focused, you will go unnoticed and unheard — even on the quiet floor.
8. Caffé Strada
There are barriers surrounding Strada for a reason! Make sure to take advantage of the built-in benches and perfect lighting when you feel the urge to get it on. Refreshments are located right in front of you, so you can do the dirty and appease your caffeine needs.
7. The superstitious seals
It is so instinctual for UC Berkeley students to avoid the superstitious seals on campus — but this is a good thing for you. In no way will you be in the middle of people’s walkways, so take a test drive on the most sacred part of campus.
6. Unit 1 courtyard bikeshed
Who needs to ride a bike when you have something else to ride? With so many handlebars, the positions are endless.
5. Moffitt moving library shelves
Whichever bookshelf you desire, you can have. Sandwiched between books and endless literature, you have the opportunity to be more intimate with your education than ever before.
4. Durant food court
You have your choice of restaurant, so choose wisely. In the back of Durant food court, you will be but a shadow of a couple. Then, refuel on whatever cuisine you desire.
3. Memorial Stadium
Someone has to score on our field, and we all know it won’t be our football team. Who wouldn’t want a 360-degree view of the stadium surrounding them while getting lucky? You can even imagine the Cal football fans cheering and watching you as you take on the best entertainment Memorial Stadium has ever seen.
2. The Piedmont Avenue roundabout
There is nothing like a traffic jam caused by people getting distracted by public sex. Better yet, at a roundabout, there’s no chance of disrupting the flow of traffic. Have you ever wanted to be the center of attention? Well here is your chance to be at the center of both the road and Greek row’s attention!
1. The Campanile
Who needs eye contact when you can stare at the amazingly clear views of the Bay Area while doing it? You can even listen to a live, instrumental version of your favorite song while getting it on. In this bucket-list location, you can really have it all.