‘End Berkeley’: Daniel Edrisian runs for ASUC Senate to abandon campus

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Campus third-year student Daniel Edrisian was among the many UC Berkeley students who were disappointed to learn about the California Supreme Court’s decision to limit campus enrollment.

However, Edrisian said that he was disappointed the court ruling did not go far enough. Instead, he calls for the end of Berkeley. Specifically, “cut enrollment entirely, allow our final classes to graduate, and let nature reclaim our lands,” Edrisian said in an email. Running for ASUC Senate as Daniel “Berkeley Ender” Edrisian, he hopes to spearhead this initiative to abandon campus if elected.

“This epidemic that is Berkeley has been going on for far too long and needs to stop,” Edrisian said in the email. “I wish I could ride my horsey down to what is today ‘Soda Hall’ and feed him carrots. Instead, I need to study for this midterm and make sure I get +0.2 SDs above the mean. What kind of life is that?”

Edrisian questioned why students go to Berkeley when there are other “good institutions,” such as UCLA and Stanford.

Edrisian also expressed dismay towards what UC Berkeley students are doing with their education. He added that he wishes students could dedicate their future to themselves, their pets, and their children rather than to serving other people.

“Too many of us are going to Cabo and Cancun and not many of us are thinking about Climate and Common Courtesy,” Edrisian said in the email. “Our planet is dying, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry that my last few years on earth are spent thinking about my GPA.”

In lieu of a college campus, Edrisian added that he believes almost anything would be a better use of this land.

As the head of the End Berkeley movement, Edrisian said in an email that he will also end Berkeley’s “byproducts,” UCLA and UC Davis. He hopes to announce his plans for End Davis once elected, but he noted that he does like UC Davis’s cow farm.

Although Edrisian does not have experience in government or policy, he believes his background and his ACT score of 34 make him a qualified candidate.

“I am a first generation student, an immigrant, and have Middle Eastern parents who have disciplined me since my childhood,” Edrisian said in the email.

Campus electrical engineering and computer science professor Josh Hug, who is Edrisian’s research advisor, called Edrisian a “visionary.”

“Daniel is the only candidate who is pledging to abandon campus entirely… leaving behind roughly 178 acres of paradise and only hazy oral traditions amongst wildlife about the brief shining moment when the human exodus began,” Hug said in an email. “To be clear, I will also support any candidate who promises a near identical reconstruction of campus on an adjacent plot of land.”

Contact Aileen Wu at [email protected], and follow them on Twitter at @aileenwu_.