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BERKELEY'S NEWS • FEBRUARY 01, 2023

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A confession of near defeat: A poem

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ASHLEY YOON | STAFF

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SEPTEMBER 10, 2022

I am desperate to be wanted, 

not lusted over in the way that people trace their lips across every bare inch that meets the eye, 

but instead,

to be loved and cherished. 

 

when will it be my turn to have songs 

or poems written about the simple beauty of my existence, 

the way the sunlight looks through the strands of hair that fall in front of my face 

or how I constantly lean my head into my brightest smiles?

 

I brush fingers with a dream so close to reality, 

but it slips away without fail every time, 

and the people I trust with my heart eat me alive, 

only to leave the leftovers to rot into the open air. 

 

used and discarded, 

with every new person I meet 

I find myself feeling more and more like someone 

destined to end up alone.

 

always enough to chase, 

but never enough to stay. 

 

perhaps I will always be an unwritten chapter, 

a passing excerpt of a bigger story to someone’s forever, 

and that fear paralyzes me in the still hours of every blank night. 

 

but regardless of my fate 

I will continue to fall for the most saccharine versions of puppy love. 

 

the lazily intertwined fingers, 

the upward gaze from behind a head of messy hair

and the constant magnetic feeling that burns in your core. 

 

let me sit in your lap and giggle at the future I see in your eyes, 

and you can tuck my hair behind my ear for me and lift up my chin when you kiss me. 

show up at my door with a rose, 

sit with me on the grass as the wind cools us from the gleaming sun

and fold me little cranes out of cheap napkins at the restaurants we sit at. 

 

please hold me in the night 

and whisper that you love me. 

 

I want to catch you humming our favorite songs 

and watch us double over with laughter when we mess up a batch of chocolate snickerdoodles. 

messy and molten,

but delicious, nonetheless.

 

hold me tight and never let go. 

and if you so please,

stand with me in the rain 

and be mine until the end of time. 

Contact Ashley Yoon at [email protected].
LAST UPDATED

SEPTEMBER 10, 2022


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