UC Berkeley’s student body is incredibly diverse, bringing together people from all walks of life. These students are usually known to eat with the provided silverware when in the Foothill dining hall… until they don’t. Here at the Clog, we’ve compiled a list of the top five times you, the Cal Bears, failed to grab plates and utensils and just ate with your bare hands in the Foothill dining hall.
- That time earlier last year
Although Berkeley students often stick like glue to social norms when eating in the Foothill dining hall, it’s true that we can drop the ball sometimes. For example, in August of last year, a freshman completely forgot to use a plate and simply shoveled handfuls of rice into their mouth from the table. It made for a rough first impression, but don’t worry! We all make honest mistakes sometimes!
- The time in 2010
Back in 2010, the world was a very different place. Many of the students who are at Berkeley now were still in elementary or kindergarten. However, it was still generally accepted that people eating at the Foothill dining hall should put their food on a plate then transport it from the plate to their mouths with some kind of silverware. One junior seemed to forget that in the spring semester of that year, choosing to eat a pile of chicken tikka masala straight from the table. Yikes! Not a good look if you consider a good look to be consuming food in a sanitary way in the context of the Foothill dining hall.
- Counterexample: The time a sophomore got food on a plate and ate it with a fork
The Clog is all about positivity! That’s why we decided to break up all this negative talk with the story of sophomore Edward Beach, who recently went to Foothill dining hall and ate food using a plate and fork so that it would not make contact with the table or with his bare hands.
- The time it happened four days in a row
When you think of Berkeley students deciding to forgo traditional eating implements and simply scoop up food with their bare hands, you probably think of this. That’s right, back in 2017, for four days straight, a sophomore forgot to use a plate or utensils, instead carrying their food to the table in their arms like a newborn fawn and shoving fistfuls of it into their mouth with both hands. It happens to the best of us!
- The time a successful recovery was made
Who can forget the time last month when modern eating utensils apparently slipped the mind of a senior in the Foothill dining hall? I know I sure won’t! But wait, there’s redemption! After getting halfway through replicating a Turner seascape on his section of the table with his hands and mouth, this forgetful eater finally noticed that something was wrong and grabbed a bowl and spoon. Embarrassing mistake, but he really turned it around!
Here at the Clog, we’re all about dining at Foothill in a sanitary and organized manner. We hope that this guide has offered some insight into the contentious history between UC Berkeley students and the utensils they use to consume food.
This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.