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Things I’m holding myself back from buying

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MARCH 20, 2023

With my paycheck a few days away, it’s only normal for my online browsing to have taken up a larger space in my mind. What’s worse you may ask? My birthday is also this month. My intrusive thoughts are reasonably arguing that I deserve to make a few purchases to spoil myself. I thought writing it down would help me justify some of the things I’m bound to buy this month, so let’s get into the list of things I’m trying (more like failing) to hold myself back from buying. Grandma, if you’re reading this, this is my wish list!


Not only am I being severely influenced to buy a pair of these, but in specific, I’ve been thinking about the AirPods Max. I keep seeing the customizable covers for them and the urge only grows stronger. My second option is the Beats wireless over-the-ear headphones that I’ve had in the past and I know work amazing. Seriously, I need someone to convince me to get the significantly cheaper option. 

Air Jordans 

Since living at “The Hill,” my shoe game has exponentially deteriorated. I usually go with my trusty Under Armour sneakers because of their comfort but I do desperately want to change that. I’m looking for some Air Jordans that I can pair with anything and have set my sights on the Air Jordans 4 Retro PS “Military Black.” I’m not a sneakerhead so I’ll appreciate any advice. 

An iPad 

I kid you not, I told myself I didn’t need an iPad when I started my first year at UC Berkeley. I had everything I needed with my pen, notebooks and laptop. It wasn’t until my recent math course that my opinion changed because of my professor’s diagrams in the XYZ plane. I swear, it’s like he likes to make my life a little harder. He always starts it off by saying, “I’m sorry for the people drawing this by hand.” Yeah, I’m sorry for myself too. 

Soccer mom jacket 

The famous Lululemon soccer mom zip-up is way too overpriced but man it looks good. I can’t even be mad about it. I want to look like a million bucks too when I’m doing groceries and mom-like activities. 

Workout clothes

I usually wear basic black leggings and an oversized tee to the gym because who needs to look good when they’re sweating profusely? Well, I didn’t realize how much a cute workout set could influence your mood at the gym until recently. It can lift your mood immensely and make you feel ten times as good about yourself while you’re working out. So yes, I do need more cute workout clothes.

Concert tickets 

My brother’s turned me into a Yeat fan, which I never thought I would see myself saying but here we are. How cool would it be to see him live? Do you know who else I would love to see? Rauw Alejandro. He just started his Saturno tour and signing the lyrics to “Corazon Despeinado” in a crowded arena would be an upgrade from singing them in the shower. 

A trip to the nail salon 

The age-old “I want acrylics but my nails are growing, so do I really want acrylics?” question. The definite answer is unknown, but I’m leaning toward getting an intricate design on my natural nails. But then there’s the unmatched feeling that acrylic nails give you that makes you feel like “that” girl. 

If I’ve influenced you, my sincerest apologies to your bank account. I hope you enjoyed this list, and let’s hope I have enough strength to make it to the end of this month before I buy anything.

Contact Heidy Paniagua at 


MARCH 20, 2023