Silence can be a beautiful thing. When there’s silence, it seems like the world stops. The chaos and stressors in my life suddenly disappear. All that’s left is me.
As an introspective person, I love silence. It’s calming and much needed after a long day. Silence allows my mind to reset itself. I can reflect on myself and the day without being interrupted by other voices or external influences. I can evaluate what I want in my life and who I want to be without the influence of others. Silence gives me moments to take off any kind of mask I put on throughout the day.
Nowadays, silence seems to be scarce in my life. There’s always things happening and it often feels like I’m always in a state of stress and anxiety that keeps unraveling. The only time I feel at peace with myself is when it’s silent because I don’t have to worry about what’s going on around me. All I have to worry about is myself.
Yet, silence can also be an enemy. In moments of silence, it’s only really me and the world. This means I’m stuck with my own thoughts, which aren’t always the nicest. I can get stuck in a cycle of overthinking. Did I make the right decisions? Are my relationships with others meaningful? Do I like who I’ve become? The questions I ask myself are never ending and the only one who can answer them is me, but this is hard as someone who overthinks everything.
People have said “you are your own worst enemy,” and silence brings out the enemy in me. My mind takes advantage of silent moments to be a voice that criticizes me and my every action. The voices around me stop, but the ones in my mind don’t. It feels like I am constantly being bullied by myself.
It’s difficult to know when silence is relaxing or when it’s threatening. No matter how silent it gets, my mind is always spinning and wants to be another voice I hear throughout the day. It leads me to question how effective silence really is.
Although it’s taken some time, I’ve realized silence isn’t really the problem. Rather, it’s how I react to silence. I’m in control of how my mind reacts to silent moments and how my mind decides to treat me. I can choose whether or not I want to soak up the peaceful moments that silence brings or wallow in self pity and criticize my every move. It’s hard to recognize the power that I have over my own life, but silence has allowed me to do so.