Astrid Liu

If you are unhappy in a relationship, then there is absolutely no reason to stay; it just drains all your energy trying to keep up a facade.

Even though those gifts were well intentioned, I was so desperate for praise that I felt like I needed some show of gratitude to reaffirm my self-worth as a partner.

Just because I enjoy being dominant doesn’t mean anyone who is a sub will automatically be perfect for me. Vice versa for subs, and switches, and any other sexual identities or positions.

After I ghosted my ex, I learned that ghosting is sometimes necessary. But there is often a limbo in which the person you are talking to isn’t rude enough to warrant ghosting but still isn’t someone you want to keep in your life.

But what I do know is that it’s OK to not know. It’s okay to identify as a lesbian and realize you’re bisexual. It’s normal to not know, to question yourself, to experiment.

I allowed myself to be violated, offended, objectified, dissected, because I didn’t think I held enough worth to deserve to live my life on my own terms.

I was giving away my power, my independence, my ability to dictate my sex life for myself. I allowed myself to be pushed and pulled like a rag doll.

I love sex. I love all its facets and faces, velvet touches and carnal ferocity and gushing wetness. And if I’m not fucking you or you’re not fucking me, then fuck your thoughts on who I am.

But sometimes I just want to make out with a cutie, get their number (or not), and go home to masturbate and sleep in the comfort of my own bed. 

I still hear that nasty homophobic inner voice from time to time, but I can ignore it much better now. I can make the first move confidently and it’s not as scary as I once thought — especially because I know someone’s probably going to end up coming that night, as long as I actually start the conversation.