Rachel Musselwhite

I allowed myself to consider other possibilities — after all, the beauty of traveling alone was that anything could happen.

I have never been a huge fan of dating apps. In fact, I had sworn off of them several months ago, after another relationship with someone I had met online had dramatically imploded.

I would head back to the airport eventually, but I didn’t feel like rushing. I let the hours pass by as I explored the city and felt grateful that I had chosen to explore Naples, if only for the day.

The books that have earned their place on my shelf, however, are the ones I share a history with. When I read them, I’m taken back to the places where I once lived, and the person that I was when I lived there.

I began my foray into the world of scuba diving in Mexico, during the last few days of my month-long stay in Baja California Sur. Since I had always loved being in the water, the idea of diving intrigued me, and I pictured myself frolicking alongside marine life as if I was a mermaid.

It was 5 o’clock on a Sunday morning when I suddenly developed an infatuation with hot air balloons. My obsession took me by surprise. I had never given balloons much thought; it had never been a lifelong dream of mine to fly in one, unlike my friend, who was the reason I was at the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta.

At mile 17, somewhere in the mountains of Patagonia, this lone thought — a cross between a self-reprimand and a serious question — becomes a mantra that I mutter under my breath. It’s the worst part of a marathon, this space where the miles left number in the single digits, but you’re not close enough to start counting down the last few miles like you can once you hit the 20-mile mark.

It seems strange for me to admit that I lack a definite answer of what counts as sex. After all, I write about sex, I’ve studied sex and I’ve certainly had a lot of it over the years.

I know you respect me in bed, I’d think. But do you respect me outside of it? Do you even know who I am, outside of sex?

It followed me off the streets and into the sheets, this desire to go along with whatever he said to avoid a disagreement, even at my own expense.