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In the future, I will continue writing in order to inspire myself and others. Writing about my curves is still hard at times because I have to expose the parts of my body that I have spent most of my life hating, but overall, I love it.
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Being curvy was not my choice, but I learned to embrace my body by separating my beauty from my curves. I am who I am — beautiful and unique — because I am curvy! I love every inch of my body, and I won’t ever let anyone destroy that positive perspective because in my size, I deserve to love myself.
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When I finally get to hold a diploma in my hand, I will think back to the day that I almost denied myself a chance to graduate from UC Berkeley because of my curves. My body is an empowering part of me, which I embrace with confidence, but it will never define my success!
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When it was my turn to model, I strutted down the runway, moving my hips from side to side, throwing smiles at the cheering crowd of girls and at the judges. I struck a pose, flipped my hair over my shoulder and walked back toward the exit of the runway. I had never felt so powerful or so confident in my life.
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I knew I had to change the way I viewed myself. I then remembered what my dad always told me just to get me out of the house on time in the mornings: “No importa lo que te pongas, siempre te ves igual de bien” — “No matter what you wear, you always look beautiful anyway.”
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While I sat in my class, the words “men only laugh at curvy girls” replayed in my head. I imagined Hector was laughing at my body with his friends all this time. I tried to hold back my tears, thinking he only walked me to my class out of pity.
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Overcome with defeat, I immediately left the store empty-handed. I realized that curvy girls like me were being kept from tight-fitting, fashionable clothing in attempts to help us hide our bodies. My curvy shape was being devalued by the clothing industry, which stops making “regular” clothing at size 12.
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As I lay on my bed scrolling through the 40 photos I took, my eyes filled with tears, and I threw my phone at the mirror. I looked nothing like the photoshopped pictures online. I was upset that I was trying so hard to be someone else.
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At my large, Mexican American family’s reunions, judgmental comments about my body shape were always present. One of these moments occurred when I was 14 years old at my cousin’s birthday party. We had just finished singing happy birthday, and I had served myself a plate of cake and ice
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I have learned to love and accept my body. Unlearning society’s obsession with tying beauty to body shapes has been a journey. I can now confidently say that I represent the beauty of Mexican American women. I no longer feel stigmatized for my body shape. I am proud to be a “curved beauty.”
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