Don’t forget to dick around

Champagne Problems

Perhaps the most groundbreaking role of my acting career came when I was 17. Having already performed the role of a jail-breaking piglet some years previously, when I succeeded in landing the role of Janice the giant talking chicken from New York City in a stage adaptation of “George’s Marvelous
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A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

Life in the Matrix

Up until now in this column I’ve written about various aspects and inventions of the telecommunications revolution, which began, presumably, after Steve Jobs poured out his fifth bucket of bikram-induced sweat, Steve Wozniak downed his last round of Funyuns and Fanta and the two set to work building computer chips
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Saddling up for “shark week”

Sex on Tuesday

“Ew, no! That’s sooooo gross!” Sound familiar? Yeah, that’s probably the response you’ve been given, or have given, to the suggestion of period sex. Actually, that’s also the response that one of the advice columnists of a certain Southwestern college newspaper gave to a reader wondering if she should suggest
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The 4/20 chronic-les of UC Berkeley

Given Insight

This Friday will be a trippy one for our hippy campus. Popularly known as “4/20,” April 20 is the cannabis counterculture’s international holiday, and Berkeley is one of the focal points of celebration. Fire alarms will echo throughout the dormitories as some amateur freshmen “Puff the Magic Dragon.” Students for
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Congratulations, losers!

Man Under Bridge

Ah, Friday. Not just any Friday. This, my friends, is Good Friday. That day in April in when you can wake up and walk through Sproul, unaccosted by enormous signs bearing blown-up pictures of people you’ve never met shamelessly begging for your vote. Would I like a flier? You know, it’s not
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Wherever I lay my hat

Champagne Problems

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like… whatever, Dorothy. You’d better not wear those shoes to a Cal-Stanford game. But that smug Kansas kid had one thing right. Wherever you are, whatever you do, the pull of your home is inexorable. We carry
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Echinoderms not allowed

Sex on Tuesday

I like to think that sex is supposed to be fun. For everyone. I mean, there is a reason why there is a multimillion dollar industry built around it, and prostitution is “the oldest profession.” People enjoy sex, a lot. But there is a group out there that does not seem
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Paul and the political future

Given Insight

Hello, Casey! This is Ani from the Ron Paul for President campaign,” the voice on the other end of the line warmly greeted me as my heart began beating uncontrollably. “Ron is coming to San Francisco next Thursday, and we were wondering if you would be interested in arranging an
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On the Dirty Boulevard

Man Under Bridge

The American Standard: What is it, or what should it be? Politicians, philosophers, art­ists and just about everyone else have some opinion on the subject. Perhaps it’s a claim to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Or maybe it’s an ideology more closely related to that intangible thing we
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The other side of the coin

Champagne Problems

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad. / They may not mean to, but they do. / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.” So says renowned English poet Philip Larkin in his poem “This Be The Verse.” When my
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