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Social prescriptions limit the acceptable forms of love, and among the most difficult norms to defy is monogamy. If your instincts carry you outside social convention — as mine have — you must work all the more diligently for love to succeed.
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Above all, whether you already broadcast your sex life or keep it tightly under wraps, know that openness and vulnerability can be extraordinary resources.
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I wear the loves I’ve accrued in every facet of my personality, letting the romances of my life sculpt who I am and what I want. And I’d argue that love creates all the ingredients required for exemplary sex.
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If we could reduce the ubiquity of sex, perhaps we could balance out power.
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After a lifetime of snootily spurning Tinder and the like, I decided to get over myself and see what all the fuss was about.
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The notion of preferring one gender strikes me as a very heterosexual way of thinking, but preferences aren’t so crazy, even if you really like all your options. And I often used to wonder: Do I have a preference? And if so, why?
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A stretch without sex can be like Charles Dickens’ famous beginning to “A Tale of Two Cities”: It can be both the best of times and the worst of times.
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For the most part, we probably all want to have sex that feels meaningful rather than quick or empty, and having sex you’re emotionally invested in makes for a better experience on many levels.
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For me, looks and body image play a primary role in sex, and wanting to seem more attractive, I’ve always concealed or corrected parts of my appearance.
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Satisfying female partners should be about them, about being a giving partner and about repairing possibly the most taboo form of inequality.
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