Unfortunately, we at the Clog have to collectively take responsibility for the radical views of one of our members, who is not allowed to use first-person singular and believes that electronic dance music, or EDM, is worse than Ebola. This music, which could more appropriately be described as the diegetic sound of a robot porno, has castrated the galvanizing essence of live music and has tattooed our generation with a technicolor identity, inevitably linking us to the phenomenon of flitting around in fields, getting high and selling our souls, all to the bleeps and blips of our electronic anthems.