confidence

Time feels like it’s running out to graduate college as the best version of myself. In these next 10 months, I want to be someone who feels confident in their abilities to handle the unknown and life outside of school.

Although I struggled with the confidence of my decisions, it’s okay to embrace doing things alone, and I’m prepared to accept my 20s are for discovery. 

I never read my columns once they are published because I’m always afraid of discovering an unintended meaning in my words that I didn’t notice when I first wrote it. What if I come across as selfish, or cocky when writing my columns? What if they aren’t relatable at all?

My whole world revolved around these 30 people in my elementary school class; none deemed me worthy of a crush. I became an introvert, engaging in the less rambunctious games during recess and not talking much outside of class.

I decided to adopt a more positive attitude towards my skin and physical appearance. Instead of starting my mornings with negative self-talk, I switched to expressing gratitude for the ability to see a dermatologist and get the treatments I needed. I reminded myself that my acne did not define me or my beauty.

After one unorgasmic finger stab too many, I was haunted by the realization that I had spent years of my life having unsatisfying sex. It was clearly necessary to make a drastic change.

Our goal of getting strong, healthy and beautiful through weightlifting celebrates our womanhood and the amazing things our bodies can do for us.

I’m not hoping that my admission will be counteracted with validation, but simply that we can mutually acknowledge the existence of our insecurity; to admit that loving ourselves is hard and abstract compared to the reality of not feeling good enough.