Power ranking: Chancellor Dirks’ scandals

Ah, Chancellor Dirks. The Clog’s favorite scapegoat and the butt of some of our better jokes, Dirks is a mainstay on our site. But now, for the first time, we at the Clog are compiling the official ranking of his scandals, evaluated on three metrics: the gravity of the scandal
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Is Chancellor Dirks a werewolf?

Chancellor Nicholas Dirks has long been a mystery to many of us. Since his appointment as chancellor in 2013, he’s had everything from anger to mustache-related obsession directed at him. After all these years of speculation, we at the Clog have stumbled upon a number of coincidences that, when put
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