illness

I didn’t really know how to respond; I don’t think I really responded at all. I simply noticed the peculiar, pleasant sensation coiling in the bottom of my stomach. I hadn’t meant to attract the attention of all my classmates, but I did. And I liked it. A lot.

Simple nagging questions seemed to place the blame of this unwanted illness on me. Maybe if I ran a little faster, ate a little better or scrubbed a little harder, this could all be over.

When academic expectations are sky-high and the appetite to grind is insatiable, illness can feel like a thick fog that I should just turn up my collar and trudge through.

That was when my dad looked at me and said: “You just need five seconds of insane courage, and you can do anything.”

When my own body starts to feel less like a home than ever, I will gladly escape into my favorite things for a while.

Pushing yourself to the point of burnout seems to be an expectation in college. I mean, we’re all consuming copious amounts of caffeine, right?