moving

I went back to visit you. I only observed you from the outside, but you seemed different. The years must have separated us from each other. Even though you were no longer ours, there were still some of our emblems marked on you, some indications that you had been ours at some point in your existence.

Gray. The color of the fog and mist over the water, clouding my view of everything I have ever known. I fear that one day I will forget. I don’t want to forget.

We landed in Oakland Airport, and my first mission was already clear: get In-N-Out. After the disappointing chips, however, I was less clear. Where do I go from here?

The books that have earned their place on my shelf, however, are the ones I share a history with. When I read them, I’m taken back to the places where I once lived, and the person that I was when I lived there.

My identity felt fluid and contextual. Depending on where I was or who I was with, a different aspect of my identity would come forward. When people ask about my name, Aviva, I am Jewish. When people ask about my parents, I am Indian and white. When people ask where I’m from, I say San Francisco.

Dear childhood home, I saw it coming. I can’t lie to you and say that I didn’t. After 10 years of living in Bahrain, I knew mom and dad would eventually want to leave the Middle East. I guess I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. When I left for college, I didn’t realize how little time we’d have together. 

Moving out of state to start college can be exciting yet scary. It can feel overwhelming and unreal, but there are plenty of ways to ease yourself into the groove.

to find comfort / in God is a strange / thing, one that i / don’t see in chapels / anymore. / when you speak to Him, / send Him my / regards.

I decided to try a new cereal every week, just to dip my figurative toes in the milk of change.