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By having sex, I’ve tried to sever ties with the culture that equated my worth to my unpierced hymen and has so blatantly taught me, along with other Armenian women, that our virginity is the sole source of our value. Although in the eyes of many people in my community, I am impure for having premarital sex, I am at peace knowing that I had sex on my own terms.
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I now put conscious effort into decolonizing myself by challenging gender binary expectations. Even though I sometimes catch myself saying sorry when I shouldn’t, speaking too softly, or moving to the side to let men pass, I am self-conscious of those actions.
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America has long been plagued by unfairly contrived stereotypes, but few have been as widely and consistently accepted as the “classic dad.”
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It’s date party season, and you know what that means: You’ll spend hours of your life thinking about dresses, makeup and shoes so that a dude you’ve never met before in Rho Alpha Pi Eta will — I don’t know — attempt to validate your self-worth through physical appearance alone or something?
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Out of pure desperation, I bit his pillow, already littered with imprints of my despair, begging for some form of relief. I hoped that by inflicting any miniscule amount of pain on this inanimate object of comfort, I could somehow escape the penetrative force threatening to consume me from behind.
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Someone walked up to me once on a rainy day and said, “Hey, there. I don’t mean to be rude, but I think you forgot to put a bra on today.”
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I was a sink with a leaky faucet. The tears wouldn’t stop. There was nothing wrong. I wasn’t sad. I just couldn’t stop crying. My mind churned out reasons to be sad, and I cried until I had a pair of swollen goldfish eyes. The worst part about it? This
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Now, usually, I would present a single, parable-ish narrative that highlights the existence of the patriarchy. But over the past few years, I’ve found it hard to only talk about one uncomfortable experience because there have been so many.
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This column is in response to the article on CNN called India: The Story You Never Wanted to Hear about an American student’s experience with sexual abuse in India. I recently returned from a two-month language-learning scholarship in the state of Punjab in northern India. There, patriarchy acts upon your body:
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