riverdale

At Millwood High, the craziest thing isn’t that there’s a killer on the loose, but that the small-town school has a budget for a ballet program.

In rebuking the buoyancy of its source material, “Riverdale” has spiraled into half-baked plotlines, absurdly high stakes and ham-fisted dialogue.

Halloween may be long over, but that doesn’t mean “Riverdale” isn’t terrifying us all with its increasing amount of ridiculous costumes and permanent suspension of disbelief.

Veronica enlists everyone’s help to break Archie out. After a montage of vague preparations, the plan — which consists of Veronica wearing another wig to sneak in — is ready.

The show takes us back to when the Hot Parents of Riverdale™ were juniors in high school, a confusing time in the early ‘90s when “everything smelled like teen spirit.”

Veronica (Camila Mendes) has finished building the speak-easy underneath Pop’s Diner and plans to open it up for business — only nonalcoholic drinks, of course — these teenagers may be prone to abusing ridiculously named drugs and covering up murders, but apparently underage drinking just crosses a line.

If you have been missing small-town drama filled with Abercrombie models and teenagers who act like 25-year-olds, fear not, because season three of “Riverdale” is back and angsty as ever! The gang is back in the summer before junior year, ready to face even more spooky murders.

We here at the Clog feel your pain, so we've decided to put together the ultimate guide to avoid getting exposed while napping in class.

We at the Clog decided to dig deep into the shows we watch to investigate where our own dads fit into the picture. Which TV dad is your dad most like?

In potentially the coldest social critique of modern high school politics, the show inanely made the Heathers socially marginalized individuals.