The correct treatment

The problem with drug abuse in the United States has not gone away. And the rampant use of drugs here has left Mexican border towns resembling a veritable blood bath. These are two of the reasons why it is easy to point out how big of a failure our national
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The many faces of Lane Kiffin.

A day in the life of Lane Kiffin

DISCLAIMER!!! This story is purely a work of fiction and satire. 8:03 a.m. Lane Kiffin, the USC football team’s 36-year-old head coach, wakes up early after a long night of work and goes for a jog with his dog. After charging two miles uphill, he yells at the lagging canine
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Bending sacred bonds

Insurance companies agree: The most stabilizing forces in our society are the bonds of marriage. When two people find the passion to commit to one another, the urge to perpetrate moving violations suddenly goes out the window — along with any lingering family suspicion of residence in the closet. But
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An occupational hazard

The pesky disturbance to South Manhattan’s normally robust power lunch crowd, known as “Occupy Wall Street,” could be bad for business. If the menacing protests keep up, we could see productivity drop and profits fall. And not just for greedy waitresses and restaurateurs. Sure, escaping back home to the Upper East
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Berkeley College Republicans’ Yellowcake

I noticed Berkeley College Republicans’ recent attempt at a satirical “Increase Diversity Bake Sale” kind of blew up in their collective face. If the goal was to merely create attention for their cause, then bravo, but the decision to create a “satire” challenging SB 185, which seeks to make affirmative
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NorCal Stickers versus SoCal stickers: The debate continues

If pride can be quantified in terms of stickers, NorCal is bursting with pridefulness, and SoCal just doesn’t care. Check out these two Google searches on stickers, for NorCal and SoCal: 10 relevant shopping results for NorCal stickers, and just 2 for SoCal. There has always been a debate on whether
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NorCal versus SoCal: The Pledge of Allegiance

Somewhere between the nebula of moral affluence known as the San Francisco Bay Area and the carnal wasteland of human indiscretion that currently infests Santa Barbara County southward is a place that divides the region fondly referred to as NorCal and that other regrettable area — SoCal. Due to its location
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