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“I have chlamydia.” My friend at UC Berkeley told me this through tears over the phone in early November, her voice cracking over the words. It was the first time I had ever heard her cry.
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Mainstream depictions of sex generally focus on penetration and disregard clitoral stimulation, while depictions of masturbation in the mainstream are rare.
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There’s almost nothing as private as sex. Yet even fewer things are so ubiquitous.
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Your first time doesn’t have to be special. It doesn’t have to be worthy of the silver screen. At this point, there are even movies about how your first time won’t be like a movie.
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Let’s cut to the chase — you’re reading this because your sex life is yawning and you’ve taken notes on the steamy scenes from “Fifty Shades of Grey” more times than you’d like to admit.
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Iconic drag queen RuPaul once said, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else!” These legendary words perfectly encapsulate the importance of self-love in relationships.
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Subconsciously, I think about things to avoid feeling things. In the heat of the moment, however, sex makes it hard to think. And even if thoughtless sex can sometimes be risky, I love escaping my head.
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Though I’m no better than other sources, let me help. Here’s my guide to avoiding self-consciousness or worry when you’re starting out.
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Social prescriptions limit the acceptable forms of love, and among the most difficult norms to defy is monogamy. If your instincts carry you outside social convention — as mine have — you must work all the more diligently for love to succeed.
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I wear the loves I’ve accrued in every facet of my personality, letting the romances of my life sculpt who I am and what I want. And I’d argue that love creates all the ingredients required for exemplary sex.
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